I have this friend (actually a former girl-friend) now living in the UK (a Britico). We just hooked up again on Facebook after about 15 years. She is now divorced, and I just helped her break off another relationship heading nowhere fast. I know your question! "Are you sure you didn't do it for yourself?" No, I didn't. I'm happily and unrepentantly married with 2 kids. My wife under the same roof with me is enough wahala!
Anyway, my friend is closer to 40 years, broke from over-borrowing for her ex-bobo's moribund business, and neck-deep in bank debts, which she has to keep 2 jobs in order to meet repayments. She was always a nice girl. She believes in spoiling her man, and lavishing attention and gifts on him. I had a running battle with her years back because I wouldn't let her pay taxi fares, and I refused to let her augment my school-fees. She is that kind of girl. A truly rare breed nowadays. Thanks to the merciless and dastardly grab-it-all mindset the devil has infested the men of this generation with.
She has given up on love, and is only looking for a companion to share her later years with. The problem is - she keeps getting into relationships with guys that want to be babied, and expected the lady to do all the work to keep the couple gong. At least, 3 Naija guys (including her ex) had used her as resident permit to the UK. Yet, marital happiness seems to have eluded her.
My thinking here is that she needs to change her mindset, her out-look, and re-define what kind of man she wants. The light complexioned, tall, swaggering, adonis type can't serve her purpose. In fact, in these times of physical consciousness, it seems the finer/taller they come, the stupder they are. I'm sorry if I appear to be bitter on behalf of my friend, but this is for my mom, my 5 sisters, and my daughter. Don't we have good folks anymore?
Please let me know what I can tell, or help my friend with, that will make a difference.
A female friend just posted on her Facebook page "Once in a relationship, and now single again..." We've been inundating her with all sorts of comments for the past week. From the "Oh no" to the "Why? What happened?" to the "But, you guys looked perfect together!" to the encouraging ones.
This leads to some questions I always ask my friends when they bring up the topics surrounding relationships, love ,lust, marriage, romance: Must you marry? Must you have a boyfriend? Must you be in a relationship?
It hurts me to see relationships go so sour, especially when I remember how the couple made people so jealous and envious of the union when they started out. Why do people waste time, emotions, affections, money, and energy together, and on each other for months, and sometimes years, only to fall apart? With a little level-headed observation, couldn't they have saved them-selves the scars of heart-aches ab initio? Yeah, yeah. People do change, I hear you say. But, don't you think a few months is too little an evolution circle to bring about a drastic, undesirable change in your partner? Wasn't that annoying habit always there, hidden by your blind emotions and his/her coyness? Let's face it, I'm no saint, but I've been married faithfully for 4 years and 11 months, and I can't bear to think how my life was before I met my wife.
I want to assist as many as I can on this blog. It's open to comments frome everyone and anyone. If at the end, at least ONE person makes it to bliss-dom in marriage, I would be fulfilled.
This leads to some questions I always ask my friends when they bring up the topics surrounding relationships, love ,lust, marriage, romance: Must you marry? Must you have a boyfriend? Must you be in a relationship?
It hurts me to see relationships go so sour, especially when I remember how the couple made people so jealous and envious of the union when they started out. Why do people waste time, emotions, affections, money, and energy together, and on each other for months, and sometimes years, only to fall apart? With a little level-headed observation, couldn't they have saved them-selves the scars of heart-aches ab initio? Yeah, yeah. People do change, I hear you say. But, don't you think a few months is too little an evolution circle to bring about a drastic, undesirable change in your partner? Wasn't that annoying habit always there, hidden by your blind emotions and his/her coyness? Let's face it, I'm no saint, but I've been married faithfully for 4 years and 11 months, and I can't bear to think how my life was before I met my wife.
I want to assist as many as I can on this blog. It's open to comments frome everyone and anyone. If at the end, at least ONE person makes it to bliss-dom in marriage, I would be fulfilled.
You can do these:
1. Share your experience (be as truthful and unbiased as possible), and let's see what difference our ideas could make.
2. Give your opinion of what your idea of A MAN is, and let's see how many men will want to be better.
NOTE: Let's use this blog to work on us guys.
1. Share your experience (be as truthful and unbiased as possible), and let's see what difference our ideas could make.
2. Give your opinion of what your idea of A MAN is, and let's see how many men will want to be better.
NOTE: Let's use this blog to work on us guys.
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